Damaged Goods (p.2) - How to deal with bitterness

This is a follow-up blog post to one I had written last week.

My particular story might not resonate with you. But if you’ve lived longer than 20 minutes on this earth, chances are that someone, somewhere has offended you and given you cause to be bitter.

Bitterness is an ugly animal that will eventually destroy everything in your life. I think of it as a dark ink spot on a pure white dress. It may only start as a small inconspicuous spot but as long as the source of the ink continues to run, the spot will become bigger and bigger until the whole dress is ruined. I decided a while back that I would not allow bitterness to discolor my attitude and outlook on men or on life in general.  Here’s why I decided NOT to remain bitter.

1.       Bitterness is mental and emotional enslavement. No matter how justified you feel, bitterness and an unforgiving heart is mental enslavement. The person who hurt you is running free and you are enslaved, what’s wrong with that picture? Free yourself and move on.

2.       A bitter person begins to mistrust God. You wonder if God’s promises are real and that if God’s promises were really real then you should not have been hurt like that. In my almost three decades of life I have come to one conclusion: some things in life have NO explanation no matter how hard you try. Why did she have to die? Why did he leave? Why did that kid never get healed? Why did someone kill 20 precious babies on one day? Each one of these things has the potential to make you coil into a bitter shell. In spite of life’s inexplicable circumstances, we must continue to trust God. He is the only constant in this ever-changing world. Personally, I cannot afford to mistrust Him.

3.       A bitter person begins to hate other people. Remember how the men who hurt me had caused me made me believe that all men were scum? Exactly! Bitterness will do that to you.

4.       Bitterness distorts your message. Clean water cannot come out of a dirty spring. Your “message” and purpose in life will be distorted as a result of a bitter heart.

5.       God forgave you your sins. What right do you have not to forgive those who offend or hurt you?

I cannot say that I went through this 5-point list when I decided to let go of everything anybody had ever done against me but I could not help thinking of especially number 1 and number 5. I did not want to become a slave to my emotions and I realized that God had forgiven me of my sins so many times and so I had to forgive and let go. Was it easy ? Uh, no. But it was the right thing to do.

The day I prayed and asked God to help me let go, I physically felt a burden lift. I was no longer weighed down. I could run free and allow my heart to love and trust again. Isn’t God amazing?